By Tiffany Williams-Jallow, Relationships360° Founder
If you’re like most people who are about to get married, you fantasize about having the perfect wedding followed by a perfect marriage that will last forever.
So why do about half of marriages end in divorce? Is there too much focus on the wedding and not enough time spent preparing for marriage? Are there key things every bride and groom should know that no one will tell them for fear of bursting their proverbial, infatuated love bubble?
I invited pre-marriage expert, Dustin Reichmann, on my show to help prepare couples for the harsh reality of marriage before they walk down the aisle in order to assist them in creating the kind of marriages that will stand the test of time on Thursday, March 10 at 8:30 p.m. EST on Blog Talk Radio.
Reichmann is the author of new book, “15 Minute Marriage Makeover,” which focuses on the four major areas that married couples should spend 15 minutes of their time each day working to improve. These areas are also the same categories in which dating and engaged couples should concentrate their effort and ensure are strong prior to hopping the broom. They include the number one reason for break up and divorce – money – as well as communication, sexual intimacy and children.
Prior to walking down the aisle, engaged couples should be able to talk freely and openly to each other about these four major areas. If not, in Reichmann’s opinion, they are not ready to get married. Examples of financial issues that need to be covered is the amount and type of debt each partner is bringing into the marriage as well as the two partner’s individual philosophies about saving, spending and investing.
Pre-nuptial agreements, which are typically intended to lay out how a couple’s financial assets will be divided should a divorce occur and before they tie the knot, are also becoming a more common pre-marriage concern. However, Reichmann generally does not agree with their use due to his religious view that marriage is intended to last forever and that pre-nuptial agreements are designed for couples who go into marriage with the mindset that if their spouse is not abiding by a set of pre-determined rules then divorce is inevitable.
Additionally, Reichmann says that before going into a marriage, couples should expect that their first few years of infatuation or the honeymoon phase is just that, and to remain committed, a couple will have to make the choice to love one another by replacing selfishness with grace, forgiveness and patience in order to survive the stresses of marriage such as sexual intimacy struggles and problems revolving around the kids.
Regarding these two areas, couples should be on the same page about how often they will have sex, their sexual limitations and related, how many children they will have and when they plan to have them. Many of these answers can be uncovered in pre-marital counseling, a pre-marriage workshop or through the use of other pre-marital resources such as this and Reichmann’s blog. This blog especially contains several links to beneficial marriage planning resources, which can found under the “Relationship Tools” section.
For more information about preparing for marriage, check out my show on the topic at www.blogtalkradio.com/relationships360. Listeners are encouraged to join the chat room during live programs, which air Thursdays at 8:30 p.m. EST on Blog Talk Radio as well as call the show at 714-409-0610.
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