By Tiffany Williams-Jallow, Relationships360° Founder
True, each person is responsible for and is to take ownership of his or her actions including being unfaithful to a spouse or committed partner. Likewise, there are several internal or self-induced factors, which motivate men and women to cheat including the feeling of excitement that an unfaithful partner experiences when they cheat and the sense that no one will ever find out about their affair, or the exhilarating feeling they have of being with someone new and different than their current partner. In fact, a recent study revealed that 70 percent of men and 60 percent of women would cheat, if they could guarantee they wouldn’t get caught! Additionally, men and women who cheat may like the idea of being with a person who is not associated with stress and use that person as a stress reliever or distraction from their nagging partner, work, children and the overall baggage of life.
However, there are also external factors which can motivate men and women to become unfaithful such as a lack of communication or intimacy in their relationship. When couples become distant, one of them sometimes seeks out another person to become their confidant and they end up emotionally and/or physically cheating on their partner or spouse as their communication with the other person progresses from discussing cliche topics such as the weather, to disclosing personal facts such as their place of employment, then sharing opinions followed by hopes and dreams and finally, sharing feelings and fears with the other person. Likewise, once communication between two people goes beyond the point of opinion sharing, they begin to build emotional intimacy, which often leads to sexual intimacy. Thus, to help prevent yourself or your partner from entering the danger zone of emotional cheating which can result in physical cheating, you and your partner should always strive to stay engaged with one another through constant communication in which you always look for ways to compliment and affirm your partner. Many men and women are affirmation hungry who desire for people to always see the good in them. And although relationships are work, you don’t want every encounter you have with your partner to be emotionally and mentally draining, so avoid making every interaction an argument. By constantly nagging or criticizing your partner, you give them ammunition to complain about your unpleasant behavior to someone else and build emotional intimacy with that person.
Additionally, to help protect your relationship against infidelity, always strive to spend quality time with your partner being spontaneous and having fun together! Nobody wants to be with a sad sack or party pooper, and if your partner enjoys spending time with you, the less likely they are to go fun-seeking with another person. However, there is little you can do to prevent your partner from cheating on you if that is their personal desire. There are many men and women who are unfaithful to their partner even when their relationship is seemingly perfect with great communication and sex. In that case, your partner who is self-motivated to cheat may not ever stop and may vow to leave you if you ever express to them his or her infidelity bothers you. By threatening to leave their partner, if he or she expresses displeasure with their partner’s cheating, the cheater manipulates their partner or spouse and plays the blame game rather than takes responsibility for his or her actions. These individuals will never change and their spouses or partners must ask themselves some very tough questions in order to decide if they want to stay in the relationship or leave it for good. To find out what those questions are plus the warning signs that your partner is cheating, listen to Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis’interview, Ïs Your Partner or Spouse Cheating?” with Tiffany Williams-Jallow, host of Relationships360 here on BlogTalkRadio..